Dancing down the Aisle!

Well last weekend was the long awaited wedding of my good girlfriend Njien. Although I’ve been to other Nigerian weddings so thought I knew what to expect, being IN the wedding was a whole other experience!

A convoy of 3 cars filled with 6 people each, set off from Jos at 8am (after having said we’d leave at 630am…..another example of Nigerian s and time) to Kaduna, a 4-hour drive East. I ran into trouble because I stupidly stopped for the Vehicle Inspection Officers (hard not to when someone walks out in front of your car and waves you down dressed in an official looking uniform). I was later told I should have just kept driving because they didn’t have nail boards to stop me or cars to chase me! Anyway, they found my car papers were out of date so was lumped with a hefty fine. Opps! I totally thought I had till the END of November!  To top it off, my alignment on my car got really bad and at high speeds I was wobbling all over the road (all those pot holes on the road to the orphanage really don't do the car any good!)!

We arrived at the home of the groom and were warmly welcomed by several large Nigerian mamas doing the celebratory call (this high pitched yodeling kind of noise which I’ve tried hard to recreate to no avail). The other 11 bridesmaids and I relaxed the rest of the afternoon, got to know each other better and did last minute preparations for the big day.  Njien and Joe had to go for their meeting at the church and Njien had to undergo a final pregnancy test (the ECWA church insists on making sure they’re not getting married just because the women is pregnant!).  Another interesting thing couples in Nigeria have to do is a blood test to check for their compatibility for sickle cell disease. If couples are not compatible, some churches won’t marry them for the increased risk of having a sickle cell child and the burden that comes with that. I’m still unsure of what I feel about this….

Anyway, after a poor sleep (on the floor - 6 girls in 2 small rooms and 1 bed and 1 couch) we woke early to start preparations. We had to ‘pack’ our hair (which just meant put it up) and wear headscarves during the church service, but the rest of the other accessories were open to interpretation. Njien was the perfect relaxed bride, no diva behaviour at all (not that I expected it) and it was just a fun time!

After the service we drove to the reception and had to dance the bride and groom in to their seats of honour (the part I was DREADING!). BUT guess what? I got LOTS of compliments on my dancing! I was so happy. I thought all the comments would be in jest, laughing at my terrible white dancing skills, but all the comments were positive with people asking where I learnt to dance Nigerian and commenting that I really blended in! It totally made my day. All I did was bend over, keep a straight back and stick my butt out and wave my arms a bit out from my sides (I’m sure the picture you now have is pretty accurate!).

The Bridesmaids!

The whole weekend was another good chance to be exposed to African culture and try and adapt my attitude accordingly (but I'm always glad to have 1 other white person around when things get too annoying or frustrating...I can just glance over at Fiona and know she shares my pain!). But the more time I spend exclusively with Nigerians, the more I'm coming to expect certain things and mentally prepare in advance. On this trip in particular, I found myself several times during the weekend reflecting on how much I'm going to miss this crazy life once I’m back in NZ

I've been reading a book called ‘Re-Entry’, on making the health transition back into your home country after a mission’s experience. Even though many of you may be thinking ‘what could be so hard about coming back to the people that you love and miss, consistent electricity, running water, internet, amazing food and the convenience of a culture that actually works?’ but I can tell you now, I’m already anticipating it being a hard time. I’m going to get serious about journaling thoughts and answering questions posed in the book that they recommend time be spent pondering. As I’ve communicated before, the thought of leaving my life here saddens me immensely, the friends I will leave behind, the excitement of everyday life, the sense of the unknown and air of adventure I live with, the amazing satisfaction and fulfilment I receive from my work with the kids and the smiles…oh the smiles. However the closer my departure from Nigeria becomes, the more I'm thinking about all the people I'll get to catch up with and all the fun things I'll get to do, buy and eat (terrible I know!). I need to get my head around trying to not feel guilty and unspiritual for looking forward to being able to go and buy some new clothes (after wearing the same t-shirts and skirts for a whole year...my clothes are soooo ruined and worn out!) and having access to supermarkets with so much more selection of yummy food!

So now that the wedding is over, the next big thing coming up for me is my Mum arriving in December to visit me in Jos. We’re planning on a safari through Tanzania as well so my next task is visa applications. But I have about a month of normal ministry here in Jos before Mum arrives. I'm kind of looking forward to some down time to be honest!