Culture, Safety, Biggest Loser and the kids

So now that I have finished my initial cultural orientation, I wanted to share with you some of the more interesting and most different cultural norms in Nigeria.

-Greetings: these are very important, to neglect a proper greeting is perceived as rude and arrogant. It is even customary for people to interrupt you with greetings when you are in a conversation with someone else.

-Respect for elders: Nigerians refer to each other very formally. A woman will always be referred to as the mother of her first or most significant child, for example my mother would be called Mama Nicky. First names are not used, except in private or with close friends and most children will call you 'mama' or 'baba' or 'aunty' or 'uncle' to show respect. It's the cutest thing for all these kids you have never met to come running up to you shouting 'aunty aunty'!

-Eye contact: You must not hold eye contact continuously while having a conversation with a Nigeria. It is important to divert your eyes once in a while otherwise it makes Nigerian feel scrutinised or not trusted.

-People orientated, not goal focussed: people matter more than events in Nigerian culture. The phrase 'Nigerian Time' refers to the non-observance of time in the culture. Nigerian are not time-orientated, because they will not interrupt a conversation with someone even if they are 'late' for another engagement. Hence we've been told that if we receive an invite to be somewhere at a particular time, be there 30mins later, or you can ask whether it's 'Nigerian time' or 'Western time'!

-Space and privacy: Nigerian build houses close together as a sign of neighborliness (communal lifestyle was what people depended on for survival in famine and war), Nigerians also tend to stand very close together when having a conversation (quite daunting at first!), taxi drivers cram people into their cars so they can make more money and will even try to stop and let you in when their totally full my Western standards.

-Visiting: You always have to offer a drink three times, as accepting on the first offer is seen as rude, like they only came for a drink not for your company. If a visitor comes while you're eating you are expected to ask them to join you or make them something else to eat. You must always accept an offer made to you without question; to refuse something outright, even if you intend not to partake, is seen as extremely offensive.

-Other interesting things: receiving and giving gifts with your left hand is not permitted, neither is smelling food in the markets (as this indicates it's rotten, always gently squeeze it to determine if it is ripe), safe sex show physical affection in public as it shows genuine friendship (you see guys holding hands down the street), however opposite sex, even husbands and wives do not show any public affection. Nigerians should never speak angrily to anyone in public as loosing your temper is a taboo.

I'm sure many of you have been wondering whether it's safe here and what the security is like. It's such a hard thing to give a clear picture of without making it sound really scary, which for the most part it's not but I'll try to explain it to the best of my ability with what understanding I have at this point. As I'm sure most of you are aware (from my previous emails prior to leaving NZ) there is an extremist fanatical Muslim group called the Boko Haram who are active mostly in the North, but who have in recent months bombed various cities in the Central and Southern states. Their agenda as I understand, is religious, they want to turn Nigerian into a Muslim country, but as with most causes, there are both political and economic undertones. Because Plateau State is the most productive for food, being higher and having richer soils and better rain fall, most of the food for the country comes from what they call the 'middle belt'. The oil however, and therefore most of the money, is down South. Hence strategically, the Boko Haram, who currently reside in the Muslim North (which is hot, barren and quite poor) want to gain control over Jos and spread further South so they have resources and money which will lead to ultimate power. This is why it's such a hard thing to solve, it's a crisis with a combination of so many factors and is such an old conflict with now easy answers. The media do not do a great job at explaining the complexity of the situation either according to locals here. There has been much blood shed from both sides so it is hard even for those who call themselves true Christians to forgive and love their Muslim brothers when they've lost family members and friends. So with that as a very basic outline to the root of the tensions here, back to my day to day living here and how 'safe' I really am. Basically, we're on level 1 'precautionary' alert. There are 4 levels from precautionary, standby, assembly then full relocation or evacuation. Jos has been on a level 1 for over a year. At the moment we are maintaining normal routines and are just meant to be cautious around the primarily Muslim areas of town. There is increased segregation over the last few months due to the conflict and many of the Muslim's who used to come to our clinics don't feel safe coming anymore. We are having to be sensible and alert, for example we don't go to town Friday afternoons because that's when the Muslims have their big prayer sessions. We all have cell phones linked to a security alert system, so that we can receive alerts of areas of possible conflict and so that we can be told to return to compound ASAP if need be. I have a distress alarm in my house and a lockable door to a room so that if someone is at my door I can run and sound the alarm. There are times when it is disconcerting, for example, hearing military helicopters flying over head is a sign that there is need for extra security somewhere in town, so just to be extra aware as it indicates some increased tension somewhere. But we have a crisis management team and a security committee who are always doing risk management so we stay in the loop.

Wow this has been a very serious blog so far....lets lighten things up a bit.....

I miss REAL milk! And yoghurt and cottage cheese (ah to live in the dairy capital of the world!!- don't take it for granted people!) and expresso coffee (nescafe and powdered milk just doesn't cut it!). I have a feeling a lot of the blogs will be about the differences in food and cuisine but ah well, it's something that people can relate to. There are some really expensive items here (imported of course) like cereal at $13 a box! Hence why I get our home help to make home made muesli for me. Cheap things are of course the local fruit and veggies, for example I got 12 mangoes for the equivalent of $2.50 NZ the other day (which are a lot sweeter and smaller here than the imported ones from home) and got a papaya for $1 (and de-seeded it myself!). Lots of businesses here are owned by Lebanese business men and so a lot of the cuisine has Lebanese flavours and the supermarkets stock ingredients such as couscous and chickpeas. Another thing I've had to get used to seeing in the markets is huge numbers of chickens crouched on the ground ready to be sold. The first time I saw this I assumed they were dead, but on closer inspection saw their heads moving! They tie their legs tied together so they can't move which seems to have a weird pacifying effect so that the chickens just quietly wait and accept their fate. They sell all their chickens live in Nigeria so if you want to buy one you get to choose it and it's head is cut off right then and there - can't get fresher meat than that!! So all Nigerian women and most of the long term missionaries can skin and bone a chicken in their sleep....I'm undecided if that it a skill I'm going to try to acquire! There is a meat shop in town where it comes pre prepared, frozen in plastic, think this will be the way I go in the near future at least!

For your interest, the term 'correct Nigerian food' stands for food that 'holds' the stomach; food that makes one full and satisfied (very helpful when spending all day out on the farm). I was told by one of the nurses that babies here a weaned early from milk and started on solids that expand their stomaches from a young age. This explains why you see tiny kids and woman with massive bowls full of food (about the volume I'd consume in 5 meals-no exaggeration) that they easily eat all of.

In terms of exercise, I had assumed this would be a rarity here, as it is not a part of Nigerian culture; the men (historically at least) did so much manual labour in the fields all day that additional exercise for physical wellbeing (as we need in the West due to our sedentary jobs and lifestyles) was unheard of. It's been great though because my flatmate Fiona is an avid runner also so we have been going to the local school to run loops around the track there and in the secret of our own apartments have shamefully been enjoying doing an exercise DVD by Jillian from Biggest Loser called 'Ripped in 30'. It's so cheesy that we spend more time laughing than actually doing the moves but it's good fun. I also joined an ultimate frisbee team which meet every Saturday morning at Hillcrest school (the school very wealthy Nigerian children go to as well as the Missionary kids). I wasn't a natural at it by any stretch of the imagination, my frisbee throwing has a lot of room for improvement but it was a lot of fun and very good run around.

In the west we apply for a job, and the position comes with certain responsibilities and specific roles we have to fill, however in ministry I've found it to be a much more fluid concept. After processing my initial frustration and realising that nothing is quite so black and white here, after talking to Kelly (the City Ministries Health Coordinator) and asking what her expectations are and what she anticipates me doing, I've been able to conclude that it's more about what I want to do, where I feel led to use my skills in the various areas of need.

With this in mind I'll try to give a brief overview of the three main orphanages that I will primarily be working in, the differences between them and where I feel I'd like to be spending the majority of my time. Gidan Bege is the main outreach centre in Jos, and is the base for lots of different ministries. It is where the boys first live as they transition from living on the streets to living with the ministry. Gidan Bege houses up to 15 boys between the ages of 5 and 14. Typically the boys live at Gidan Bege for a period of 6 months and have school in the morning and crafts, sports, counseling and bible study in the afternoon. This is also where there are weekly medical clinics for the muslim woman and men (although numbers have greatly reduced of late due to the tensions in Jos). After completing 6 months at Gidan Bege, the boys move to Gyero, the rural care center, housing primary aged boy (about 45mins from Jos). Gyero is the largest centre with about 130 children at present and the only center housing girls. This is where the girls come straight into the ministry. There is a primary school at Gyero and the children are split into groups of 10-12 and live with a caregiver. Transition House (TH) is the care centre for senior boys in Jos. At TH boys learn how to transition out of life in the ministry and into the 'real world'. There are also 5 other care centers within city ministries; Mukurdi, Kaduna, Lafiya, Kagoro and Kafanchan. These are located different distances from Jos, some as far as hours away, but which I will be visiting over the year, mainly to administer injections.

I had an initial tour around Gidan Bege and TH last week and it was all very daunting, the combination of hearing Kelly's amazing Hausa with the Muslim woman in the afternoon clinic and the ease at which she conversed, being shown the various medications (vastly different from the ones I'm used to in NZ) and what they're used for, being introduced to hundreds of important people and trying to remember their names as well as trying to process the new surroundings and lack of resources I'll have to be dealing with, all took their toll on me and I went home feeling very overwhelmed. The next day however we made the trip out to Gyero. After a bumpy ride (the last 30mins are on a dirt road which has just been improved significantly I'm told) we arrived and I was shown around the different houses and introduced to the uncles and mama's looking after the children. The kids were so immediately accepting and loving, such a joy to be around. I saw a lot of medical needs, from rotten teeth that need pulling to fungal scalp conditions, but on the whole the kids are well cared for. Challenges will come with the change of seasons however, as illness can spread quickly in such cramped communal living. I've heard stories of tummy troubles come mango season too (next few weeks), when the kids, who eat no fruit all year decide to consume five mangoes in one day! “Aunty my stomach hurts....” hmmm I wonder why! I'm so looking forward to working with the children, getting to know them individually, hear their stories and journey with them, but I can already feel that God will use this process to make big changes in me.

I have a head cold at the moment, probably my boy getting used to the change of climate and the dust around the place. The Nigerian single ply tissues are as rough as nails and my nose is raw...oh how I miss you 3-ply Eucalyptus scented Kleenex! But other than that, I'm in perfect health, no tummy upsets from the food as yet, so Praise God for that! Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts, until next time.